


Defenseless

by chocomint



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 23:44:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11611437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocomint/pseuds/chocomint
Summary: Secrets are not meant to be kept forever.





	Defenseless

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my [Livejournal](http://notinaji.livejournal.com/6703.html#cutid1).

It felt awkward whenever he’s around me and much more uneasy whenever we’re left alone. I always believe that I’m liable with his first heartbreak. That’s why every time I look at him, I feel guilt swell inside me.

I intentionally stroke the piano keys without an aim of producing a melody. I just wanted to keep myself busy and to probably keep a great distance between us.

Footsteps were suddenly drawing near me. I lifted my eyes to check who was coming. It was him; the man I feared the most. Cold sweat trickled down my neck. Frankly speaking, his mere presence summons all the trepidation in the world to my chest. My heart was pounding and battering that I thought it’s going to explode. I wanted to run. I wanted to escape this emotion burning my soul. Yet it’s always next to impossible. I was restrained when he greeted me with his usual amiable smile.

He sat beside me on this chair designed for solo pianist. He was too close that his left elbow crashed with my rightside ribs. I assumed I made a remarkable wince when he murmured an apology and moved his arm behind me. I looked at him questionably and I was rewarded with yet another affable smile. I wish he could stop smiling like that because I feel remorse ingest my pride.

“What?” I asked him with an irritable tone.

“Are you okay?” He asked back. This is one of the things I hate about him; he concerns himself with stuff beyond his business.

“So what if I’m not okay?” I started jabbing the keys with my fingers to make him feel unwelcomed.

“Then, you should take a rest. It’s a shame that a melody turns devastated when the one playing it is not in a good mood. Plus, it’s really unprofessional that you let those things that bother you triumph over the things you wanted to happen.” He smiled again; a smile which was indistinguishable because it was in between being friendly and being sarcastic.

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.” I flustered a fake smile to match his smile.

“Tell a lie and say you’re okay but you’re evidently angry with no reason. Say it’s nothing and display a smile. Be stubborn and regret it.”

I glared at him unblinkingly. What is he trying to tell me now? Is he trying to grip me in order for me to extract the truth? Is he cornering me to confide and apologize? _Fuck it!_

I felt my face softened when he patted my head. I bit my lower lip and decided. It’s now or never.

“Takaki, there are acts which we can’t change even if we regret doing it, right?” He gazed at me. I saw my bothered face reflected in his eyes.

“Yes. I think so.” I expected him to smile or laugh it off but he was serious and I knew I dragged him into this inescapable topic.

“I’m sorry.” I felt a stab on my chest that shattered the glass containing my heart. “I was envy. I was self-seeking. I wanted to shine and bring you down. Remember, more or less five years ago, when you requested me to transfer files from your computer to your phone? I nicked your photos with Rubi and leaked it out on the Internet. I saw you grieve when the management forced you to break up with her. I thought it was my turn to you, I – I mean I thought it was my turn to have big projects. Yet they sided along you. I was still a shadow. It was my fault, Takaki. I’m sorry. I understand now. I’m really sorry, Takaki.” I felt warm water run down my cheeks. Tears were welling my eyes which made his vision blurred but I managed to make out that he wasn’t shock. It made me nervous.

His thumbs lead their ways to unwelcomingly wipe my tears. I wanted to push him away but he cupped my cheeks and I felt his warm hands transmit protection all over me.

“Inoo-chan, even the smarter of the smartest forgets.” He wrapped me inside an amazingly comfortable embrace.

“You’ve apologized with the same reason before when we saw Rubi with her new boyfriend after me. Ah, yes, you were drunk that time; probably that’s why it still bothers you. Ah, I had to piggyback you out of the karaoke stall that time and you had to stay at my place for your mother would be mad at you drinking underage.” He let out a low cackle which embarrassed me.

“You. Takaki, have you forgiven me?” I hushed on his shoulder.

“Well, what will you do if I said that I haven’t?” I gritted my teeth; I really wasn’t expecting it but something told me he wasn’t mad.

"I would do nothing. But you could’ve punched my face if you haven’t forgiven me, right?” I returned his embrace and seized the back of his shirt. I started to feel utterly secured. More like, the sparkling and tingling sensation started dancing all over my heart which I only feel towards Takaki – even before Rubi came into the picture.

“It must be a trouble for you to dwell upon this mistake for too long, Inoo-chan. But it absolutely doesn’t matter now.” He released his folded arms around me which momentarily disappointed me.

“Even the fooler of the foolest does sensible acts.” I was going to argue that comparative and superlative degrees of the word fool don’t exist, when suddenly, like a scene in a romantic movie, I felt soft lips buried against mine. I eagerly kissed him and hugged him back. Ah, I thought he wouldn’t notice this affection I have towards him that I hid for so long. Now, I have to admit, that this person I hated for the lack of use of brain and this person I feared because of my own wrongdoing, changed a huge portion in my life. _Forever._


End file.
